eraser-dust

Yep.  I'm one of those who doesn't really celebrate Valentine's Day.  Just never felt the need to.  It's so damn commercialized these days that it makes me sick to my stomach.  People shouldn't have to have a reason to be romantic or show extra affection to their significant others.  Be grateful you have them every day and don't take it for granted.  You never know when it can possibly be taken from you.  Every day should be an opportunity to learn something new about him/her and it should be a learning experience in the realm of 'love'.  Should be, but isn't, for some.  It's a sad reality.  

Enough about that.  

Lot of shit's gone on in my life.  I've changed.  Still am changing.  Will always be changing.  My two year art block is finally coming to a close, but I no longer feel the need to share my work with the internet.  This is strictly an account to view other work with and keep track of what inspires me and what I like.  I have no choice but to revive my website for the sake of having a viewable portfolio for potential future clients.  That will be a fair distance in the future, however.  School's a busy hell away from home and it keeps me on my toes.  I'm hoping once I get past this first year I'll feel a bit better about my decisions.  I've just been stuck at the beginning stages of things for so long that I feel like I haven't made any real progress in my life in the last four years.  I'm ready to be done with this chapter of my life and move on.  At twenty years old I've dealt with more life-changing experiences than you can shake a dead cat at.  So yes, I would like to move on and make new memories instead of being revisited by the ones I already have.  

My father is still without a job.  Have no idea how my parents are still making it.  They amaze me every day with how they deal with this hard spot in life.  I am happy to know that I am their daughter and that they love me and support me.  

My stomach condition has been found out.  I have what would appear to be a bulimic's stomach, yet I've never been as such.  Pretty much my stomach doesn't process food like it's supposed to, so it ends up sitting in my stomach for far longer than it should.  Acid builds up and makes me feel sick easily.  I have a hard time distinguishing between when I'm hungry and when I'm going to be sick.  I also have a huge lack of appetite.  I can go all day without eating and not even think about it.  This is something I was born with so there's no chance of it ever going away.  Can only manage it with medication that sends my mind for a loop.  Damn stomach is what put me in all this shit to begin with.  Fml.  

I'm leaving World of Warcraft for an upcoming game called Rift.  All of the people I know are migrating there.  Not only is it cheaper, but the graphics are amazing and the overall set up is just so much better.  No more trying to get into raids but being denied because of gear or a gearscore.  It's sad, though, because I've been technically playing since Vanilla.  Lots of good memories.  But it is just a game, after all.  

That's all I can think of, for now.  The rest is too personal to post on a site like this.  Even though I know many don't even bother to read what I have to say.  Just not known enough.  Just don't spark enough interest for people.  

That's alright, though.  I'm used to it.  I'm used to being seen as a wallflower even though I'm not.  

Take care of yourselves, now.  Life awaits.

+ Kai.

If you comment I'll will execute the list below just for you xD:

1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your dA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Ask you something I've always wondered about you.
5. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
6. Give you a weird nickname.
7. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
8. Challenge you to post this on your journal.


Stolen from .  She's so awesome.

Alrighty then.  I am officially in my apartment now.  It's still a disaster since I'm still unpacking and am still not sure where I want to put everything.  It's a decent-sized studio apartment with a full bathroom and central air.  Since I'm living in a huge city that is very beneficial.  Especially since I'm on the top floor.  I start school in two days and I won't have any money for another week and a half.  Sad, sad day.  I get to walk to school every day until I can get a new bus pass and put some money on it.  I was planning on having a bike by now but that sadly fell through.  Welcome to my life of random failings.  

The date for my sister's informal wedding is November 19th.  They haven't planned a formal one yet.  No one has any money, thus the informal one at a sooner date.  My sister is too bloody picky for a wedding dress already.  |:  She's looking for a particular style that NO ONE can afford currently.  Yet she won't settle for something cheaper for the time being.  Bloody hell...she's the last person I would have guessed to be like this. Oh well..what can you do?  I live an hour away now so I don't have to deal with it.  

I'm going to be busy as all hell when school starts.  However, I am going to make time to work on my website.  It needs to be done badly and I finally decided on a layout that I love.  Once I start on it, it shouldn't take me too long to finish it.  I don't have much work to post yet.  After my site is done, I'll more or less be putting my artwork there instead of here.  I don't need to be worrying about art theft.  It's already happened to me once.  That and dA kind of annoys me now for reasons that I will not state.  I'm not leaving, but I'm only lingering.  If I have enough time I'll maybe post commission statements here.  Everything will be linked over to my site, however.  

And..on a sad side note...my laptop is still acting up.  I payed three thousand fucking dollars for it and I have to send it in for a second time. >BI  I am PISSED.  I'm pretty sure I've been stuck with a faulty graphics chip since I bought the damn thing, though.  It has never fully functioned correctly.  My fps is minimal of what it should be, and it keeps glitching out really bad.  Sections of the screen will do a weird static thing like you would see on a tv without cable.  I've reinstalled the driver a few times now, and I even got a better cooling pad.  It's obviously not a heat issue because my gpu runs at a near constant range of 45 C - 54 C.  My cpu runs 49 C - 57 C.  Both of those ranges are well within the limit of what they should be.  I'm so tired of always getting the short end of the stick.  It always ALWAYS happens to me.

Okay enough of the computer rant...and ranting in general...I think I need some pancakes.

Toodles.

+ Kai

Why cake?  Because it is a lie.

So yeah.  If I had a glimpse of what my life is like now back even a year ago, I would have laughed and thought someone was playing a trick on me.  Honestly.  Things have changed so VERY drastically and I'm not sure whether to be amused or grab the nearest weapon to defend myself from what's next.  

[ . FIRST IMPORTANT UPDATE . ] + I move this upcoming Sunday to my own apartment.  Again.  This is the third time moving now.  I will be there for at least one year, maybe longer.  Depends on if I find someone else to live with or not.  For now I'm by myself.  Thankfully.  No annoying roommates that teeter on the edge of death by merely breathing in the same vicinity of myself.  It's not a very large apartment, as it is a studio.  However, it's much larger than most I've seen and it's conveniently located in the middle of everything.  Literally.  My school is pretty much a straight shot down the street with the exception of two quick turns.  On the downside of this all, I won't have internet for some time as I won't have the money for it right away.  I also won't have a bus pass until I can afford that.  Unless by some miracle I inherit money from the side of my family that disowned us.  Wouldn't that be nice. -Eyetwitch.-  

[ . SECOND IMPORTANT UPDATE . ] + I'm currently working on layouts for my website.  After procrastinating for over six months I've finally found some motivation to get it up and running.  My thing is deciding on how I want it to look, however.  I think I have found something that's worth trying, I just need to get working on it before this miniscule amount of motivation decides to vanish forever.  Gaining motivation is literally like trying to get my stomach to stop creating acid: feasible but painstakingly difficult.  Now, it probably still won't be up for a while, as I am starting school, after all, and until I get a schedule worked out everything is going to be a bit on the hectic side.  

[ . THIRD NOT SO IMPORTANT UPDATE . ] + My stomach condition is improving.  I no longer wake up and feel like my stomach is being ripped out of my throat.  I do wake up a bit nauseous, sometimes, but it's not NEARLY as bad as it was.  The medicine I was given is taking much longer than it should have to work, but it's finally doing what it's supposed to.  It also helps that I changed my diet and no longer eat acidic foods despite my love of them [tomatoes and oranges, to be precise].  I still haven't given up ketchup, though. >_>  I probably never will.  Now if I could get the exercise to match my diet.  I nearly killed myself in Wisconsin working for the PGA and now I have an aversion to staying on my feet for more than a half an hour.  One of my toes is permanently numb now and it just feels weird.

[ . FOURTH UPDATE THAT DOESN'T QUALIFY AS IMPORTANT BUT IS CERTAINLY UNEXPECTED . ] + My sister is officially engaged.  It was so fast that I'm still rather in shock from it.  Of course, my sister and her fiance have known each other for quite some time and have liked each other for nearly as long.  They didn't get together until very recently, but since they had been around each other they had already bypassed a few steps in the relationship passage.  So now they are engaged.  And the insanity that is planning a wedding has commenced.  I'm so very glad I'm moving away so I don't have to deal with it.  No offense, but my mom and my sister clash rather frequently and I generally get turned into the go-between/messenger.  I don't like be caught in the middle of things.  It rather irks me.  

So there you have it.  You can do whatever you wish with the information I have provided on myself.  I'll be around sometime soon.  I hope.  

Also...I hate moles with a burning passion.  There's one caught in my window well [I live in the basement] and it keeps me up at night when I need to be sleeping.  I'm still fighting off a cold and the tail end of a sinus infection so I need my rest >BI.  My sister tried getting it out once but it crawled into a hole in the corner and wedged itself between the metal and the ground.  Stupid little vermin.  May it die and become fertilizer for the flowers.  

So toodles for now.  Have a pleasant day.

+ Meahgan a.k.a. Kai

EDIT + I have laryngitis. =n=

Hahahaha..ashdjfdfkjasdf..

Okay so I have an apartment.  I move in a week an a half.  I have no money.  Yay.

My sister is getting married by the end of November.  Wtf.  They barely announced that they were together a month ago.  Of course...they've been around each other for two years...I'm not ready to be an aunt.  

I can draw again but only in short spurts.  And the stuff I draw is so..bizarre.  

I had a week of hell in Wisconsin working at the PGA Tourney.  Never again, my friends, never again. My feet still have blisters and one of my toes is permanently numb.

I've officially come to the conclusion that there is no significant other for me in this world.  I feel as if I'm pretty much unwantable.

As for other things..I was tagged by
1.) Post these rules.
2.) Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3.) At the end, you have to chose and tag 10 people and post their icons on the same journal entry.
4.) Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5.) No tag backs. I've done this one so many times, I don't think this rule applies anymore. XD

1. I graduated high school at sixteen.

2. I have an insufferable lack of confidence in myself.

3. Procrastination tends to render my skills pointless.

4. I am an optimistic pessimist.

5. I prefer antique and elegant to modern and chic.

6. I am an adventurous spirit and have a hard time staying in one place for long.  I do not like being attached to things.

7. My love of cats is like no other [I have 15, and have never had less than 4].

8. I love to read, but find it increasingly difficult to find stories I enjoy.  Everything is so cliche, these days.

9. I have never been kissed.

10. I adore the element of water and am always more relaxed around it.  I swim as much as I can and enjoy the rain.

I tag anyone else who feels like doing this.  I don't know enough people who actually come on here and read my journals, so the ten person thing just isn't going to happen.  

Life's going to be hectic for a while.  I will update when I can.  Toodles.

+ Kai.